Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.