In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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