I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize