yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
