dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
