Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
