did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
