The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
