I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
