The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
