Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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