Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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