and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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