looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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