she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
