if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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