There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
