How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
