Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize