If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
