dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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