is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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