i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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