his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
