I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
