drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
