positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
