Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
