guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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