1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
