U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
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lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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