Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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