i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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