Fine. I'll sleep in my office
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
