Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
