I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
