well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
