1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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