i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
