One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
