..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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