I puked a lego.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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