your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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