Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
