Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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