oh god the rape fog is back!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
