whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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