Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
