i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
