I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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