no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
