The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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