Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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