i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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