wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize