we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
