But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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