eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
