I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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