I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Panties = found
Randomize
