we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
