hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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