i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
