She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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