I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
