You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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