Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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